” 7 more years and I am out of here” my newly 11 year old expressed to me the other day.
I could feel the tears forming in my eye sockets, my chest began to tighten and my throat felt like I had something stuck in it.
I took a deep breath and looked at Mads as she was awaiting my reaction . I just smiled at her and allowed her to steal a bite or three of my Cleveland Brownie Sundae.
The boys went to have some 1-1 time. We snuck away to Mitchells ice cream shop and back home. We ran up to the bedroom, shut the door behind us and put on our new favorite show ” My Cat From Hell”.
I could have made this moment all about me. And, internally I did. I could have been vocal about how I hope we are close when she is older, how I want her to come home often and how I already can begin to feel the pain of her absence. It took everything in me but I just smiled, allowed her the moment to think of her leaving home. A quick moment of visualizing her future. A future that will take her away from me. And thats ok. That’s what is supposed to happen.
I want her to have access to this. A future that she gets to manifest without any imprints on what I want from her or what I think she should do. The freedom of creating her world despite what pressures she feels from outside sources. The limiting beliefs that someone attempts to place on her being.
At age 4, Madeline I wanted to be Cinderella AND a veterinarian. There is no doubt in my mind that she can do both, if she wants too. If she doesn’t thats fine too.
No matter what she does or where she goes, I hope she carries me with her always. Thank you for placing your imprint on me. Being your mom is the greatest gift that I have ever been given.
I am grateful.